The Oil Monologues

There have been a lot of accusations over the last few years that the war in Iraq was a 'War For Oil'. Which I personally think would be a great reason to go to war. Every time I fill up my gas tank I feel like declaring war on someone. Naturally I think to my self "Iraq must be bombed for this outrage!" And I know that's what George Bush must think as well when he gases up. But I keep waiting for the bombing of Iraq to lower the gas prices, but it doesn't seem to be happening. Here is an equation that I've worked out to try and help explain the situation.

High gas prices = Angry Americans + Bombs x pi =...... Still High Gas Prices!!!

So, I think that means the equation needs to change. And you all know me, the problem solver extraordinaire. And I have an answer to this problem now as well. And I think it could really work out.
What is one thing that this war has given us? Iraqi prisoners. And what do we know about the Iraqis? They're good at drilling for oil. Soooooo, why don't we set up some prison camps in ANWR and start using these prisoners to drill for oil. I think it's a fact that slave labor is the cheapest form of labor there is (except for maybe Mexican labor). And the POWs already know how to drill so we won't have to do any training. We will probably have to buy them some coats but that shouldn't be a problem for us. We are a great nation.
Now I'm not suggesting that we stop bombing countries with oil. On the contrary. By all means continue the bombings. That's just good clean fun. But I think that adding Prison Work Camps to the Oil Price Equation is the needed solution that weve all been waiting for. So the next time your at the gas pump and you're $60 deep, consider how much better life could be if gas were almost free. It's a dream that could be achieved. So call or write your senators.