News In My World

Part Deux

Jacques Chirac was very excited over the weekend when he found out about North Korea testing nukes. "This is a great day for France" he told a reporter on Monday morning. "One for the history books."

Jacques Chirac is traveling to North Korea today so that he personally, can make his formal surrender to Kim Jong Ill. Chirac has a long history of finding countries or people or taxes that he can surrender to. Back in April he surrendered to a group of young protestors armed with tiny rocks. In Sept of 2002 he surrendered to the International Tax to Help Fight Poverty. And before that he had surrendered to Sadam Husain (This is an educated guess. I don't really have any details on hand)

But Chirac is really just following in a long history of surrenders by different French leaders. France surrendered to Hitler before. And they had to surrender during WW1 also. So there defiantly seems to be a trend showing the love that the French have to surrender.

So it's no surprise, the reaction Chirac has had upon hearing of the nuclear testing in North Korea. He also declared today a new international holiday called "White Flag Waving Day". So far only France has acknowledged it as a true holiday but it was announced that on capital hill quite a few white flag pins were being worn by senators and congressmen this morning. Some of the people with the pins on were John Kerry, Nancy Pelosi and Bill Frist. It was suggested by some that these people are of the opinion that America should follow Frances lead and surrender as well.

George W. Bush had a message for them at his press conference later in the day. "We will never surrender to that one country with the short leader and nukular bombs. We plan to blow them clean off the map and if we can get that Frenchy guy in the process, than all the better."

Bombing is scheduled to take place over the next few years. John Murtha was over heard today saying that because there was no exit strategy yet for the North Korean War Part Deux, that we had already lost. "This could end up being the next Vietnam" John Murtha was wearing a White Flag Pin when he said this.

Whether North Korea is still around this time next year or not is still up in the air, but one thing is for sure. France sure is gay.

The Flaming Foley Fence

I think George W. Bush has a real problem on his hands right now. He's being stretched from two different sides causing a bit of a quandary for him and the republicans. You see, ever since Rep. Mark Foley of Florida was ousted as a gay pedophile the democrats all switched over to the anti gay party. They are head hunting for anyone that is associated with Foley, anyone that is a republican, or anyone that is gay.

That puts George Bush in a sticky situation because, as a republican, he has to stay further to the right on the gay issue than any of the democrats. He can't look weaker on the Gay Issues than they do. So he has to do the only logical thing that he can, which is banning all gay people to Mexico – the next logical choice, right?

Well that becomes a problem for him now because he is also working on a 600 mile fence to put on the border between Mexico and the U.S. The fence will be put down there to keep all the job stealing Mexicans from getting into America, but it will also make it a problem to try and move all the Gays down into Mexico. So there in lies the dilemma. Which is more important to him now – getting the Gays into Mexico or keeping the Mexicans out of the U.S. I guess we'll just have to wait and see.